Thanks all for the prayers and concerns.
I wanted to post some pictures of our progress this past weekend. Thanks to all who came out to help!
Where We’re At:
We’re almost done with the demo. Once finished, we’ll be soliciting donations for the rebuild. My wife and I are still in the basement of our friends house and doing fine. The kids are good, I’m still working my regular job, and life is fairly normal.
Mostly, I’m anxious to cut all ties to this world and get on with this project. We want to have a house of discipleship, worship and prayer. A place where people can come and meet with Him and learn to love Him. But it’s hard waiting for God’s timing [‘unless the Lord builds a house, we labor in vain’].
I feel like now that we’ve let go of the house, the next phase of life should just immediately start. But God is training and teaching my wife and I to continue to let go of our ideas and plans, and surrender to His.
I want to live for God. I want God to do something amazing in my generation. I want to content for His Glory, and I want His Name to be made great in my city. My questions are:
- Am I good enough? Will I continue to pray when I don’t feel like it? Will I give up?
- Does He notice me? I’ve left all, and put all my chips on the table. Does He notice? Will He validate? Will He show up?
- If He doesn’t show up, then this was pretty stupid.
It’s been really easy for me to lose my focus during this time. I’m worried about tomorrow and ‘stuff’. It’s just that now my material ‘stuff’ has been replaced with ‘spiritual stuff’. I’m being anxious and worried about many things because I’m not abiding in His Presence for today. I have to keep relearning this:” Abide in Me and bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing. Remain in me and you will bear fruit that remains.”
I’m anxious to get running, and I’m in danger of missing the point. Apart from Him I can do nothing. I need His Presence more than I need a house, a career, or a ministry. I need Him, and I am desperate. If He doesn’t come close, I’m ruined. He is my only hope.
I can identify much with David in Psalm 143
1 Hear my prayer, O Lord;
listen to my plea!
Answer me because you are faithful and righteous.
2 Don’t put your servant on trial,
for no one is innocent before you.
3 My enemy has chased me.
He has knocked me to the ground
and forces me to live in darkness like those in the grave.
4 I am losing all hope;
I am paralyzed with fear.
5 I remember the days of old.
I ponder all your great works
and think about what you have done.
6 I lift my hands to you in prayer.
I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain. Interlude
7 Come quickly, Lord, and answer me,
for my depression deepens.
Don’t turn away from me,
or I will die.
8 Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning,
for I am trusting you.
Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to you.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, Lord;
I run to you to hide me.
10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God.
May your gracious Spirit lead me forward
on a firm footing.
11 For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life.
Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.
12 In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies
and destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.
Onward we go! Thanks again for all the prayers and support.